Rilly Family

Blogs about family life with 6 children

Struggles of a Business Mum

A dream for a lot of people is to find a way to work for themselves. The thought of making their own hours around the family is one of the key points of why we strive to do it. What no one sees though is the hours and hours busy business mums out there, put into their work.

No self employment is easy. Whether it is Avon, photography, or making things yourself to sell. Its hard work.

You eat, sleep and breathe your work, and while you do that you are helping to maintain the family flow. I know I am very lucky to have an amazing husband who runs around after the children, especially in the holidays, so I can still come to work and get my jobs done. But not all Business Mums have that support. Maybe their husbands work too, maybe they are single parents.

There seems at times, that as mums and business owners, we have to live up to this ideal of being a super hero. Mainly its what we do to our selves, and instead of saying “I AM KNACKERED, I NEED A BREAK” we tend to bury our heads further into work. People see us working and working and think that we are doing so well, but in reality we may be struggling to balance figures, or struggling to get the sales, or just simply struggling with our own brains and bodys. Add the hormonal swings of PMS, and then for a week (or 2) every month the best of planning goes out of the window when the jelly brain sets in.
You go home and you want to cry. Your partner, your kids all wonder what the heck is going on and that makes you worse……

This has been me for the last 6 months. Especially with how fickle eBay has been over the last 18 months. The Cassini best match search, and keywords, promotions and java scripts… Every time they change something it kills my listings. I can list millions, but if it doesnt get seen I cant sell it.

But every time they change I have to spend weeks getting things right so I am not listing. If I am not listing I am not selling.

Its a huge chaotic cycle. The only bonus is, its not just me, thousands of other sellers are affected each time too.

I feel awful for my clients. They are relying on me to list for them, and I feel the pressure of that sometimes. Not that any of them are ever mean about it… LOL They are all lovely really, but that makes it harder when I feel like I am letting them down. In reality, I am thinking of listings and sales 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, birthdays and Christmas, mothers day lie ins. I am usually listing at some point, or trying to get listings seen, Facebook, Twitter, Advertising where I can for free because I cant afford to pay for it, because the sales are not coming in.

BUT…. Then I have clear days, when I can think straight and I can see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel. I wouldn’t swap all these stresses for a 9-5 job.
I do love what I do, especially when I can finally get things working smoothly.
Its just sometimes, its a struggle, and I don’t ever like admitting it.

A little note to my clients. I know things have been slow these last few months. Please know I am not being lazy. My mind is ALWAYS in work, and I am ALWAYS trying my best.

A Final note to Mr Rilly. You are amazing. You are always my rock. You help me so much in so many ways. I cant wait for the kids to go back school so you can come back work to help me out here again :p

Visit My Store Now < – Subtle Hint *Wink Wink*

 

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Loving an Eeyore

I spotted the meme above the other day and it totally changed my whole outlook on living with depression. I don’t mean my own depression either, but the depression of a loved one. 

Depression is an illness that doesn’t just affect the one diagnosed with it. You try all you can to get them to ‘shake it off’ or ‘let it go’ and many a time you feel like pulling your hair out in frustration. This in turn gets you down , after years of encouraging and coaxing you feel like giving up yourself, and deep down if you look closely you probably have given up lots of times. 

Simple things like, when the loved one suffers with anxiety and agoraphobia, and they find it difficult to go out. After years and years of asking them to go out and being told no, you stop asking and just go on your merry way and leave them at home. Is that a ‘giving up’ moment? I know I have done it a million times with Mr Rilly. Not because I dont care, but because for the rest of us life carries on, and instead of picking a fight and making us both miserable, I just accept its not going to happen and carry on. After a while you stop asking…. 

But when I saw the meme, it was beautiful and it reminded me to ask again. But not in a negative way, not to put pressure on, but to just make him feel included in the world again. To make him feel like he is a part of my life, just the way he is. Why should depressed people have to act any differently to who they are? Some of us are happy people, how would people feel if you had to constantly tell them to stop talking to people, they are being too sociable, or they are being too kind to other people all the time? They would look at you like you were bonkers, and how dare you tell them how they should act..So therefore is it not the same for someone who is depressed? 

Some people are just that way. No amount of medication, therapy or loved ones making them feel guilty is ever going to change who they are. I have learned to accept my Eeyore. I love him for all his ways, even the gloomy, pessimistic ones. 

How about you learn to accept your Eeyore, Invite them out, even if they say no, invite them out even if they just sit in a corner. They might be depressed, or gloomy, but they do like being around their loved ones too. 

So give your Eeyore a call, and ask them how they are. Call them and just chat, you never know, you might just make them smile, and feel happy, because you are accepting them just the way they are 

 

How Do You Find The Time??

Is a question I get asked a million times? 

The plain and simple of it, I don’t !! But I wouldn’t have it any other way. After having been out of work for some time, I soon realised I don’t like to sit around doing nothing. I have to be doing something. So when I was unable to work, due to PTSD, which is a whole different blog post, I started to eBay. It started off by just selling bits and bobs around the house, just like everyone else. I soon realised that I was finding it quite therapeutic too. I was interacting with people even if it was just on a virtual level, I liked that. I liked that I was good at it too. An opportunity came along where I was able to use some of the money I had made to buy more items to sell. From there RillyRoos started to grow. When it was getting too big for my bedroom, I knew I had to do something. 

We went off to get a storage locker, which then became two, then three, and an office. Before long, it was time to move into bigger pastures. We are now proud occupiers of a warehouse. 

But, this doesn’t answer the 1st question of ‘How do you find the time?’ 

As I have already said…. I don’t! 

I am up any time from 5.30 in the morning, some days I have a crafty snooze on the settee, and some days I just straight onto the PC to check the previous nights sales and answer any queries. Check emails and messages for potential clients etc, and then its time to get 4 out of the 6 fed & dressed ready for the day ahead and I often fall into bed at Midnight after finishing off bits & bobs from the day before. 

I have to say, if it wasn’t for Mr Rilly, I don’t think we would be as successful as we are now. He has given up his time and his career to be a stay at home dad, (Don’t tell him I said so, but he is pretty damn good at it) 

So there I am at the warehouse, 5 days a week, 8-9 hours a day, and I come home and often finish off little bits, or communicate with buyers and clients. And then BOOOOOM a new thing starts!! School event photography & Friends getting married and they know I have a love of photography, and its something I have wanted to try, so as a gift to them I have done their wedding photos, and I have to admit, I am pretty OK at it. Very proud of the shots (and thankfully so are the Brides & Grooms). Not only now do we have one business with 49 clients to sell for, in my spare time I do photography. 

I am not a wonder-woman, a supermom, or a career driven maniac, I am just a woman who likes to keep busy. 

Back to the question again…. How do I find the time?? I don’t, I MAKE the time. I enjoy what I do, I like being busy, I have a family that is supportive of the businesses, so its worth making that time for. 

And that’s the key, If you enjoy something, don’t just sit their moaning about not having the time to do it… MAKE the time to do it, what ever it may be. 

Rhymes with Rilly

Day 4 is going to be my pathetic attempt at writing a little made up something. You never know, through the year I may even start to improve, or not 😉

Here goes, just a teeny little poem

I am Rilly,
And I am feeling a little silly,
But at least now you can say
You have learned something today
That when making rhyming words like hilly
They sound the same as Rilly

*because far too many think it sounds like Riley, but no, Rilly is like hilly, silly, billy 🙂

Takes a bow…. thank you. There really is no end to my talents 🙂

I-Spy Rilly Style

Oooo day one of my personal 365 blogging challenge, and I am starting on an easy one… My Family

Now, one of the most stressful things we have to do as a larger family, is waiting. It doesnt matter where it is, or how long it takes, waiting is very stressful with 6 kids trying to run in a million directions or wanting to pull each others hair out. If you have ever tried to keep water in a sieve using jelly, thats what it is like waiting in line with 6 kids.

This is a great way to get their attention and get them concentrating on something other than what they shouldnt be doing.

I-Spy !!

“But my child is only 2, they dont know what letters are”

Yes, this is a problem for traditional I-Spy, but not Rilly Style.

“I-Spy, with my little eye, something that is YELLOW”

Its a great way to teach little ones colours, and looking at the world around them too. From there you can move onto shapes. 6 (who is nearly 3) loves looking for shapes, and he is getting pretty good at it too. 5 who is in reception, we started using his letter sounds at the start of the school year. “I-Spy with my little eye, something that starts with CH” you could see his little brain buzz as he is saying out the letter sounds of the world around him.

The best one has to be our favourite ‘Oh darn here we are in the denist waiting room again with 6 kids’ game. Most waiting rooms have posters on the wall, and our dentists has LOADS of them. This one entertains the readers “I-Spy with my little eye, the word TEETH” the kids then have to scour the posters for the right poster and point out the word. Its funny watching other folks in the waiting room with us trying desperately not to join in, but you can see them looking for the word too (Just so you know, if you ever see a family of 8 staring at posters in a waiting room looking for random words, you are welcome to join in)

I-Spy is the oldest game in the book, but you can make it work for all ages.

So next time you are in a queue and you spot the signs of the kids starting to get restless, invite them in to an age appropriate game of I-Spy 🙂

My Multiple Layers of My Internet Personalities

There are some right internet whores out there arent there? I know, because I am one of them. I am all over the web. I have blogs, ebay, pinterest, instagram, facebook, twitter and a few other places I dont use often.

What do these areas say about me, and even you?

Facebook is ego, your id personality. The personality I want everyone to see and like, the personality that gives glimpses of my true personality. Parts of me thats show my taste in music, my sense of humour, and even our darker sides that speak with anger (Especially when I go on about politics), thoughtlessness and envy.

Face
What about my blogs? What part of my personality do my blogs represent? Is it the more inward thinking and the reasons for who I am that I blog about, the need to reach and show the under layer of myself, opening myself up for scrutiny, comments, and indifference?

Pinterest… Oh I love pinterest !!! I would waste hours of there dreaming of what I think I could do. This is my wannabe world. I would love to create some of the gorgeous furniture tutorials, create the little house decor crafts. I guess Pinterest shows my desire, my wants, my lust even.

Face1

Instagram? I have only just started using instagram again in the #100happydays challenge, and although I normally take photos with Mr Nikon, I do like to use my phone for instagram. Like is a little window into my world that I am letting you peek through.

What about you?

Are you a soul sharer? an internet whore? is the worst thing you can do is google your name? I know for me, every part says something more about who I am. So if you find me somewhere out there in the World Wide Web, Then I was there for a reason at some point 😉

How Could I Love Another Baby As Much As You

There is nothing more magical that starting the journey of motherhood. You could never believe it possible to love another human being so much, having only just met them for the very first time, but you do. That wonderful moment when you hold your baby for the first time, and you watch their little face, you life couldn’t be any more perfect.

You watch this wonderful bundle of poop, sick and noise, grow. It toddles, it breaks things, it shouts really loud in public places, but you still smile with the tired smile of a mother, but with love pouring from your heart.

Next, whether it be planned or an happy accident, you find yourself pregnant again. You start off happy and excited to do it all over again. But, a little doubt, a little niggle creeps in. How on earth could I love another baby as much as I do for number 1?

I imagine it this way. 1st baby arrives and with it, it gives you a cake, the cake is how much you love your first baby, a whole cake full. The frosting is perfect, the aroma is intoxicating. This cake/love away from your first child? the reason for your being, the one who gave you this great big cake of motherhood love.

You cry, you wonder how, and the big day draws closer and closer, you keep looking at this cake and try different ways of splitting it between the 2 kiddies… 

But then, when baby comes, it comes with a huge suprise. It has its very own cake. Exactly the same size as the 1st cake, the design is different and the flavour is a little different too, but its just as perfect as the first. 

There is no sharing of love when it comes to your children, each child comes with its own cake, with its own frosting, and design. You may love all your children in their different ways, but if you could measure the cakes. They would all be exactly the same.

I feel very lucky to have 6 fabulous cakes. No wonder I am fat though 😉

Oh No Not Chicken Pox!!

Back in June 2012 4 got chicken pox. It had been so long since 1 & 2 had had it and they had it so mildly it wasnt really a problem, I turned to the Facebook Gang and asked them this question

OK ladies… what do I need to know about chicken pox then? 
How long does it take to spread from one child to the next? 
What can I do to soothe the itching? 
What is best for them to wear? 
erm… Are they ill with it? 
Anything else?

Lets just say this particular post has been used numerous times, for countless mums and kiddies.

So I will simply share the link with you here and allow you to share in the pearls of wisdom from mums all over the UK

Click here for the Chicken Pox Thread

*Disclaimer – The remedies listed are from personal experiences, if you are concerned at any time or have reactions to items mentioned in the post, please seek medical attention*

Not a sponsored post

A Ten-Month-Old’s Letter To Santa

Tee hee. Oh yes, this is the list for toddlers

The Ugly Volvo

Dear Santa,

 I am a ten-month-old baby and I write because my mother has been sending out my “Christmas List” to people, and her list does not in any way represent the things I really want.  I could give two s#*ts about receiving stacking cups.

And I know you’re ready to make the joke about ten month-old babies and how all we want is the wrapping paper and the boxes.  Touché, SantaTouché.   We do, of course, want those things.  But I have a number of additional things I want very badly.

My list is enclosed below.  Have a lovely holiday.

-Ten Month-Old Baby

*          *          *

A Comprehensive List of The Things I Want For Christmas:

*          *          *

1.) This Laptop Cord

IMG_3109

I want this laptop cord more than I have ever wanted anything.   Please.  I also want the power strip with…

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2’s Science Project – Make a Plant Cell

If you have children that have just gone into secondary education, chances are they will come home with this project. Like any good parent you will be sitting with your 11/12 year old trying to decide how they should make their science project (without trying to do it yourself…LOL) 

We looked at loads of different ones, from jelly made, cake made, card & paper mache … Until Momma had a brainwave!!! 

I remembered seeing 5’s reception class TA making some of this awesome gloop and I have been dying to make some and this was my perfect excuse. 

Have you ever mixed cornflour & water??? It makes a fabulous solid gloop. The same stuff Jon Tickle added to the custard when he walked on it during an episode of Braniac. Solid when you impact it hard, but very gloopy if you slowly move your fingers around it. 

So this was the cytoplasm and the container was the cell wall. 2 then had to hunt around the cupboards for the extra parts. 

Here is what he came up with 

Plant Cell

Plant Cell

 

Simple, cheap, and totally ACE.

Well done 2 (and well done to the brainiest Mum ever… LOL)