I spotted the meme above the other day and it totally changed my whole outlook on living with depression. I don’t mean my own depression either, but the depression of a loved one.
Depression is an illness that doesn’t just affect the one diagnosed with it. You try all you can to get them to ‘shake it off’ or ‘let it go’ and many a time you feel like pulling your hair out in frustration. This in turn gets you down , after years of encouraging and coaxing you feel like giving up yourself, and deep down if you look closely you probably have given up lots of times.
Simple things like, when the loved one suffers with anxiety and agoraphobia, and they find it difficult to go out. After years and years of asking them to go out and being told no, you stop asking and just go on your merry way and leave them at home. Is that a ‘giving up’ moment? I know I have done it a million times with Mr Rilly. Not because I dont care, but because for the rest of us life carries on, and instead of picking a fight and making us both miserable, I just accept its not going to happen and carry on. After a while you stop asking….
But when I saw the meme, it was beautiful and it reminded me to ask again. But not in a negative way, not to put pressure on, but to just make him feel included in the world again. To make him feel like he is a part of my life, just the way he is. Why should depressed people have to act any differently to who they are? Some of us are happy people, how would people feel if you had to constantly tell them to stop talking to people, they are being too sociable, or they are being too kind to other people all the time? They would look at you like you were bonkers, and how dare you tell them how they should act..So therefore is it not the same for someone who is depressed?
Some people are just that way. No amount of medication, therapy or loved ones making them feel guilty is ever going to change who they are. I have learned to accept my Eeyore. I love him for all his ways, even the gloomy, pessimistic ones.
How about you learn to accept your Eeyore, Invite them out, even if they say no, invite them out even if they just sit in a corner. They might be depressed, or gloomy, but they do like being around their loved ones too.
So give your Eeyore a call, and ask them how they are. Call them and just chat, you never know, you might just make them smile, and feel happy, because you are accepting them just the way they are